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Nipple Rings and Other Things
We're such an intelligent species

Nipple rings, my gawd! how come?
Why can't they see it's so stupidly dumb?
Like tattoos of flowers on someone's big bum,
Don't they realize where shit comes from?

And what of a needle stuck through a nose,
What mental giant said that's where it goes?
Did no one consider a sneeze or the blows?
Collecting debris in a nostril - they chose?!

Hey - let's attach something right to our tongue,
It's perfect for eating, we'll catch every crumb,
Hey diddle diddle and fee fi fo fum,
I still smell the steak you ate when you were young.

Who wants to touch on those piercings down there?
The one's tightly tangled in a labyrinth of hair?
"Not I," says the dude, who is feeling quite sick,
With visions of sugarplums stuck in his dick.

My gawd! what's wrong with people these days?
They want to be pinheads, I'm simply amazed!
The word is they're out there expressing unique,
They're out there all right, and unique is a freak.

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