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  The Cutest Puppy Dog in the Whole World - Funny Poems

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The Cutest Puppy Dog in the Whole World
Looks can be deceiving

"Mommy, can we get a little puppy dog? Can we? Can we pleeeease?"
"We might be able to arrange that."
"Really?! Can it be the cutest puppy in the whole wide world?"
"Of course it can Sweetie-pie, but before we do that, you have to promise me something."
"I know Mommy, I know... I promise to feed it, all by myself, every day, and take it for walks and play with it all the time and give it lots of hugs and kisses and be the one that gets it water and no treats from the table and even when my friends want me to play I'll say I can't until I look after my cutest puppy in the whole world and, and, I'll do anything to get a puppy dog!"
"Promise?"
"I promise, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."
"I don't like it when you say that."
"If we get a puppy I promise I'll never say it again."
"Deal."

One hundred forty minutes 'till the puppy was returned,
We cannot keep him anymore, my lesson has been learned,
He ate my shoes,
He chewed a chair,
He even tore my underwear,
He peed in here,
He pooped in there,
I slipped in one, fell down the stairs,
And then he barked,
'Till both my ears,
Were crying little waxy tears,
He bit and scratched,
My fingers bled,
He ripped the sheets right off the bed,
He ran so fast,
Right out the door,
I couldn't find him anymore,
'Til he came back,
Chased by a cat,
And carrying an old dead rat,
He stuck his nose,
In Billy's bowl,
Our carpet now is full of holes,
I've had enough,
Now take him back,
Before he starts a new attack.
You did not tell,
You did not say,
That things could turn out bad this way.
You did not tell,
You did not say,
But I don't care - just take him away!

"Mommy, can we get a kitty cat?"
"We might be able to arrange that."
"Really? Can it be the cutest kitty in the whole wide world?"
"I don't see why not, but before we do that, you have to promise me something..."

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