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  That Girl Coulda Bin a Star - Funny Poems for People

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That Girl Coulda Bin a Star
Pure optimism in rhyme

That girl coulda bin a star I s'pose,
If it weren't fer them onions creepin' outta her nose,
If it weren't for that moss growin' 'tween her toes,
If it weren't for the leak where suppositories go,
That girl coulda bin a star I s'pose.

That girl mighta bin a star I's thinkin',
If she'd got some soap and stopped that stinkin',
If she'd tooken a day off from all that drinkin',
If she'd got her a boob job to stop that sinkin',
That girl mighta bin a star I's thinkin.'

That girl coulda bin a star I'd say,
If she'd learned how to white-wash that tooth decay,
If she'd just stayed away from them free buffets,
If her talkin' didn't shower ya with that damn spray,
That girl coulda bin a star I'd say.

But I'm a logical man, so...

I'm guess'n she won't never be that star,
No papa-rotsy pictures at the sushi bar,
No fame, no fortune, no big fat car,
Unless'n she can find it in that cookie jar,
I'm guess'n that she won't never be that star.

But if it weren't fer just them things,
She coulda went real far,
I ain't got me one ol' doubt,
That girl coulda bin a star.

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