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Internet Guy - Real Guy
We know who you really are

The internet has changed the way we look at ourselves. Power up the beast, gaze into the monitor and suddenly we become an entirely different person. It could be discussed for hours, but a simple example will suffice for this purpose.

On the left, we have Internet Guy. On the right, Real Guy. They are indeed, the same person, the difference being, Internet Guy is how Real Guy sees himself when he is online. Go figure.

Features Internet Guy Real Guy
Height 6'4" 5'6"
Weight 190 265
Build • Muscular, athletic
• Women love to run their fingers over his '6 pack' and squeeze his biceps
• Beach ball; bobble-head
• Women wonder how he would ever get stopped if he started rolling down a hill
Eyes • Deep blue
• Intense, provocative
• Yellowish-green
• Morning gunk syndrom
• Once caught a fly with a blink
Hair • Thick, lustrous, sandy blonde with a sexy wave through it
• Women actually argue about who gets to feel it first
• None
• Once asked by a woman if that was real wax up there
Teeth • His million dollar smile has been featured in many dental ad campaigns
• Yet to have a cavity
• Women are amazed that his breath always smells so minty fresh
• Almost paid for. Should be able to pick them up in 4 or 5 weeks
• People are amazed that he can strip the paint off a phone booth just by breathing on it
Occumpation • Rocket Scientist
• Assists world leaders solving nuclear fusion issues to supplement income - even though he doesn't need it
• Welfare
• Collects cans from the side of the road to supplement income
Hobbies • Reading to blind children
• Solving complex mathematical equations
• Modelling
• Taking women to expensive restuarants
• Making the world's largest ball of ear wax
• Getting drunk and singing Hello Dolly to the prostitutes at 4th and Main to try and get a free ride
• Non-smoker
• Social drinker
• Chivalrous, charming
• Never arrested
• Too many friends to count - 5 or 6 real close friends who would die for him tomorrow
• Hates bragging but realizes H sometimes comes off that way because he has no faults (apologizes for that)
• Outstanding lover - mattress is wearing out
• Has to order special over-sized condoms online
• Drives a red Ferrari
• Lives in a mansion on the ocean in an undisclosed location
• Heavy cigarette butt smoker (often found near the beer cans),
• Rarely sober
• Finds it difficult to afford the price of sex these days
• Cheif of police knows him by name
• Best friend is ice cream
• Loves to brag about the size of his ear wax ball
• Blow-up doll is leaking again
• Drove a Ford pinto until the engine fell out on the highway
• Inherited mother's downtown apartment, including the rats

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